Where's my peanuts?

I had Claire's ENT appointment today as a follow up for her "raspy voice" issue. I knew the ENT with both was going to be a challenge but I didn't foresee it being as cumbersome as it was. We had a very long wait time...like two hours of waiting. The waiting room itself is a challenge but it's the wait in your actual room that becomes the scene of a horror movie. We spent one hour in the actual waiting room. We blew through the majority of the good snacks- gummies, suckers, goldfish and applesauce packets. I was left with the lone bag of Elmo cereal. Strike one. Claire become obsessive with using the potty in the waiting room. Nearly every 10 minutes she needed to go again. She did go once but that was on try 3. I watched people barely budge in that room Nearly an hour and fifteen minutes later we were called. But then the next level of waiting ensued. The "I'm trapped in a tiny cell with two toddlers with expensive/breakable equipment" waiting. First they were using the exam chair as a jungle gym. Then when they discovered the buttons to adjust it went further downhill. They began to scream because they couldn't sit still. They felt compelled to touch everything. You can only say no so many times before you realize they aren't listening. They tune you out because they simply don't care. Then came questions. Claire turned to me and asked, "mom, where's my peanuts? You know my peanuts like Carson when he got potty." I didn't want to answer that, especially trapped in a room with paper thin walls and ears all around. I just said it wasn't the place to talk. I don't want to have the whole gender conversation with my two year old in a doctor room.

But then came the standoff. She and I just met the moment that pushed me over the edge. I can't recall what lead me to take away the promised reward - cake pop - but I took it away.
Claire: no (slam on door)
Me: no cake pop!
Claire: I want cake pop! (slam door)
(horrified the nurses think child abuse is going on) me: no cake pop!
Claire: I. Want. Caaaaake pop!
Me: I'm calling your dad.
Claire: I don't care!

So this was going nowhere. It was then I realized I was trying to reason with a toddler. I was more insane than I thought thinking that could work. It just can't. A rational toddler? No because that is like a unicorn, just a mythical creature that doesn't actually exist. It's no less frustrating having that epiphany. I lost my cool...I think everyone could see the frazzling going on. Even with the doctor in the room the kids were ill behaved. Claire wouldn't let the doctor speak to me. When he talked she kept saying: "Dr. Raney! Dr. Raaaaaaaaaaney!" until he would have to stop to acknowledge her. Totally like a drunk person. Rude. Obnoxious. Toddlers are little drunk people. It's just illogical to fight with them because they just won't listen. It's embarrassing and humbling but it is all part parenting.

Nearly two hours later we were on our way out...but the day didn't go up from there. Upon getting home, Norah's skin erupted in a complete rash takeover. She seriously gets every rash out there. But this was all over. Arms, legs, tummy, back, neck and even behind her ears. After having one bad doctor experience I couldn't imagine going through it all over again. But I had to. Thankfully Mike met us at the after hours office so I had help. But they gave him a good performance.

So doctor day ended and both kids are still in medical limbo. Claire needs more tests which we are doing tomorrow. And Norah's rash needs a few days on Benadryl to see if it improves. So hopefully doctor day doesn't turn into a week of doctor visits....