I've been working on my parenting ABCs slowly so I will be posting that soon, but an important letter is "H" for humility. I've been humbled so much as a mom that I feel like I am often failing.
Monday (January 28) was our scheduled follow up with our beloved ENT Dr. Raney. This man has the patience of Job and an instinct like no other. Love him but he always runs behind. Our 9am appointment turned into a 10:30am appointment. Trying to keep two toddlers occupied in a waiting room is a feat. I provided snacks, my iPhone (videos) and many a walk around to look at pictures. It works in spurts but never completely. I saw the glares and stares from other patients (yes the ENT is not just for kids) and tried my best to quell the obnoxiousness. We survived but it didn't look pretty!
Though it was Norah's check, he examined Claire too. I was relieved because I was prepared to ask questions. Her voice has been perpetually raspy as of late with no other side effects. He noticed before I brought it up. He's treating her with Prevacid hoping it is an underlying reflux issue. If not, she needs speech therapy to relearn how to talk using less emphasis on her vocal chords. How can you tell a 2 year old not to talk?!? I hope we don't need to learn.
My Tuesday was full of humility. Claire has become obsessed with pampering. She loves getting her hair cut and styled, her nails painted and finishing it off with a stylish outfit. I bartered a nap for a trip to the nail salon. Norah was on board too. I thought I could tackle it but I guess my "just do it" philosophy was checked by the terrible twos. Our trip started so nicely...they picked out colors, went to the station and had high spirits. But then it all unraveled. Claire wanted Norah to go first and vice versa. I really envisioned Claire going first as the best case scenario; but I relented because she laid on the floor and screamed (right then I should have left). So Norah sat on my lap and went first. She did really well. She sat still and kept telling the woman "so sparkly. So cute!"
But then we flipped positions - Claire cried to sit in my lap and Norah was on the loose. She didn't run off because she was fascinate by the process, but he was free to grab. Halfway through Claire's pedi, Norah picked up the opened polish bottle. I saw and I tried to have her put it down. I was trapped...I knew her destructive ways as knew that bottle was about to get launched or dumped. I tried to get the Asian lady to grab it but then it was too late...the green polish blob bed onto the floor. I was mortified. I grabbed towels to pick it up and apologized profusely. But as we were cleaning the mess, the Lilliputian demon grabbed the other bottle and poured blue on the floor, herself AND the Asian lady!!!! I. Wanted. To. DIE!!!!!!! I cleaned and cried as the woman kept saying "it alright" as she turned to her coworker and muttered A LOT of Vietnamese! She finished the job as I clung to Norah. Claire killed me by demanding both toes AND nails were finished to her liking. I wanted to leave. Correction, I should have left immediately. I felt like couldn't just leave because Claire would've had 4 painted toes and a broken heart. I felt like Norah would've won had I left. No one but the angry workers who continued to speak a ton of Vietnamese around me were there. I don't know...I have worked so long to build up the courage to tackle excursions with the girls that I feel I can't regress. Like discipline and potty training, you can't go back just because you hit a snag. Maybe I stayed to prove to myself as hard as it was that if I stayed I would learn from this? I would become stronger? In staying, Norah say and behaved and didn't cause any more skirmishes. Claire was so behaved that it was a joy to do this with her and know I will again (without Norah and a different place because I'm sure we aren't welcome). I kept apologizing with my head low and humbled myself. I was being judged by them and mostly myself. I blasted myself for my stupidity, my ignorance, my crazy ideas...but I can't. I'm humbled but I'm learning. My mom said the best thing - one day they'll remember all the fun things you did for them and they'll be grateful. So I may be stressed and embarrassed but the show must go on. I can't accept defeat...I'm their mom and its up to me to guide and mold them in life.
But Norah is speeding into the Terrible Twos as Claire is still taking a Sunday joy ride through them. So I'm sure this is just the first of MANY humbling experiences ahead!
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