It wasn't the easiest nine months preparing for your arrival and your delivery was equally stressful. As I laid there waiting for your first cry, I pleaded with God to just make you be ok. And as your screams filled the dimly lit room, I felt a wash of relief. You were here an you were safe. For that brief moment in time, it felt like time stood still and nothing could hurt you.
As you turn three, I am overwhelmed with so many emotions. My firstborn...my home you have grown. You are what your name means - bright! I take it in all forms too. You are smart beyond your years. You never miss a beat and have always been quick to figure out every baby proofing technique. You shine brightly in a crowd. Your smile lights up a room. Your laugh makes me and everyone else laugh. Your wit brings a smile to all. You tell such funny stories and tall tales (i must keep an eye on this). You're compassionate and caring. You have a sense of nature that makes me so proud. You take care of your sister. You always want to care for the little babies and look after your friends. If I am sad or you happen to see me cry, you ask why I am sad. Nurture is a fantastic trait and I am so glad you possess it. I hope that nothing causes that amazing ability to either as time goes on.
Though I had many a struggle with you during your toddler days, your DeeDee always told me that you would evolve into my greatest blessing. And within a short year, you have evolved from an unruly toddler (whom I still absolutely loved and adored beyond anything) into my best friend. I enjoy our quality time together. As Norah naps, I so cherish you helping me clean a room, share a sandwich or just sit and girl talk. You are growing so quickly before me eyes and I wish time would stop so I could keep you this size forever.
My heart sinks as I think our days of us being together nonstop are beginning to come to an end. You will begin preschool soon and then before I know it you will be in kindergarten. You have changed my life so much in such a short time and I am blessed that God prepared you for me and chose me to be your mother. You are a refreshing spirit. I love all of your little quirks and how you're wired: Your obsessed with fashion and how you need to change outfits by the hour. Your love of high heels and need to wear them everywhere. Your love of earrings and changing them out. Your myriad of baby dolls and how each gets your love and attention. Your mirroring of me with working out, watching you do lunges and squats and throw downs alongside me at boot camp. Your NEED for chocolate milk first thing in the morning. Your fixation with routine and repetition. Your odd questions (i.e. random strangers where their daddy is)...I could go on and on.
I want to shelter you from the world. You are still too young to really feel hurt or rejection. I don't want you to experience pain of that magnitude. I love seeing your smile and only want to wipe away tears from falling down and not being hurt by another's words. Even seeing girls leave you out now makes my heart break. But as your mother, I will be your beacon of strength. I will always be here to pick you up and make you see how beautiful and amazing you are. I promise to fill your bucket and never empty it. I will build you up and bring you back when you seem to have lost your way. I will make sure you always love and respect others, especially your family.
I love you more than my tongue can tell. Thank you for being you and for blessing my life beyond words.
Love,
Momma
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